Love for the Sake of Allah (swt)

As-Salamu 'Alaykum

Recent regrets? Yes. One I wish I had done, but didn't do and one I wish I had never done, but did do. Can't go back in time now, and in the eyes of others it would seem to be something stupid to regret, but I regret it and more so both occurences are from yesterday (Friday)...how nice. Room for improvement? YES. Impossible? No, Insha'Allah.

There was a dars at my mom's friend's house today, given by Maulana Matin.. he came from MD. It was in urdu ofcourse and for some reason he kept saying Kamal. In urdu Kamal means to have done something out of the norm or something. I donno, if anyone can explain it better... give it a shot. So yeah, he kept saying Kamal... and so I was pretty much in lala land trying to listen but my focus was oddly elsewhere. I heard him say kamal numerous times and I thought to myself 'if he says kamal one more time I may go insane' and so he says kamal again lol... and I made an attempt at cracking a joke in my mind by which I almost started smiling/smirking... people would've thought I was retarded or something. The Imam's talking about Iman and such topics and I'm sitting there smiling and reminiscing about a wrestling showdown I had with a friend in that same basement (obviously nothing serious) 2 years ago lol. Anyways so I then thought to myself ( it's something urdu-speakers tend to say amongst each other) "aray bhai kamal kardiya apnay"... Okay, it's not funny... but it was at the time. Also, It's really not hard to say salaam to EVERYONE, even if you don't know them and even if they ARE from your age group.... if you're saying Salam to everyone else than why skip over just a few?

It's a SMALL WORLD. Just got even smaller today.

We're making plans of going to the graveyard next week insha'Allah, I really want to... I haven't been in well over a year. Today we were reminiscing about my grandfather's death, it's hard to believe it's coming to be 3 years. My aunt was at Madeeha's (May Allah (swt) have mercy on her soul, Ameen) Jannazah as well so we also got talking about that and about the other aunty (May Allah (swt) have mercy on her soul, Ameen) whose Jannazah was the same day... she was my cousin's Qur'an teacher. Anyhoo.. there was a lot I wanted to write today, but I can't get myself to write it. Anyone who visits my blog would already know I'm a pretty crappy writer (horrible in grammar as well). I'm sitting here trying to write out all the thoughts I conjured up during the day and it's pretty much just hopeless. I used to be a better writer when I was younger... I thought wisdom comes with age, with me it seems to be the opposite. I think if shakespeare was alive today, he'd have us all arrested for our atrocious english.

I want to end with this, it's a bit from today's dars... obviously in my notes I translated to english since I'm not an urdu expert:

When one hears the adhaan in the early hours of the morning and is aware of it, yet fails to flip their covers and get out of bed, and instead falls back alseep - it's proof that the person loves their desires and nafs more than Allah (swt). One should love Allah (swt) and Rasulullah (s) more than those who're beloved to them by fitrah. The love of Allah (swt) and islam is not really fitrah, but more 'aqli, one must make the effort to instill this love in their hearts and lives.


One missing component, just one... okay maybe not JUST one.

May Allah (swt) guide us and grant us the death of a Mu'min in the highest state of Iman. Allahumma Ameen

Wa As-Salaamu 'Alaykum