Exit 17

Choices made out of love
Choices made out of need
Choices from the need to breathe

Take my hand and mark where I stand
Carrying my past into a radiant land

Landing with soul simmering into my veins
These hands feeling weak panting pressure on each cheek
Keeping the tongue from igniting into flames
Hear the flow, each hit on each vowel and syllable
Intricate lettering, verses incomparable
Whispers of silence and gruesome tales
Leashed for reality and no veil for the scales
A kiss from words injected through this slice in my brain
A shield for the back to guide and not entertain

Preserve this path and link back the chain
Streaming to the echoes of the cave
The hearts of the brave
From the squeeze in the chest
And the bones of the nest
Nothing can be suppressed
Because the tears roll with the overwhelming toll
A chance I can't let roll
I gotta squeeze and never release

This is an intention worth any action that can lead to salvation
Away from damnation so pursue the intention and make it sound
And you'll have it's worth someday
I remember you said
It was a lot to grasp but it made me laugh some
Killing me off already just with an intention with no other plan
I thought was funny, but I understood the long haul of few words
Dropping six feet and reviving in the ranks
The strength of lighted streets along the narrow road

I see my past going south each heart falling down
Playing in this game of sin and love
Cheating and hate
A game I did not create
Revealing more than secrets of the heart
Pulling thread by thread
Raising gazes and degrading one's existence
But of people, there is no sequel
To safegaurd is a command that is equal
I'm looking above but everything lands below
I see birds landing on fire
Innocence burning in the blaze
Pages feeding the flames
Line by line, the ink fades
Disco lights painting dark allies
Shattered glass from untamed beasts
Tears of hollow souls with no compass
With every more it seems like less
Chained to thorns with weights too great
A walk in life through denial of fate

Leaking and dripping
Too fast to fix the damage
It's like the chaos of carnage
A battle too severe
Of a reign too austere
But it's slipping and I can't win
Drowning too deep in wells of sin
Page by page, line by line
Losing my mind
A loss too precious with a great fine

To me this is too insane
Walking numb with no pain
No work for a return, not even a grain
Roughing it out in the streets
With a tough look and a fist in the air
sucker punching every clown and beast
Drinking the tears of defeat
Poison to your soul and death for limb and breath

That's not my road
Trying to find ground

Trying to find soul

Walking on this path with no place to go
I've heard too many excuses
I've made too many mistakes
What do I get if I turn back now
Exit 17 is what I wanna take
Signaling my turn with no law to break


Quenching my thirst with a gulp of defeat
Clenching my fist for every shaytan on the street
The path seems more beautiful than the final maqaam
Glazing over the horizon without even a grain of haraam
Catch my gist and throw down this fist
The clenching and the quenching
Is wrenching for this heart that's dying
And for this tongue that's lying with every breath that breathing
And this place where I'm standing is where I'm asking
Because I'm taking a chance and committing to insanity if it may be
But I know what I want to do, this is the path I'm going to pursue
Exit 17 is what I want to take,
let's pull on back and don't touch that break

I love maryam
by Olivia

Remember back at purdue,
during the summer of 2003.
It was there I saw you that day,
casually strolling down the street.

“Who’s that brother?!” I thought inside,
as my heart began to speed,
“SubhanAllah it’s like I’m seeing,
a sahabi walking down the street!”

I kept cool and lowered my gaze,
as you walked right on by.
Your beard swished in the sunlight,
“it’s so long”, I felt my heart sigh…

“Would I ever see him again?” I wondered,
he seemed like the guy of my dreams.
Guess I’ll go on with life for now,
make dua to be given the means.

But I couldn’t forget about you,
so I would tell all of my friends.
I talked about you constantly,
kept babbling on without end.

“Liv,” one friend advised,
“you know, some people might overhear.”
“We’ll have to give him a codename,
in case we’re heard by other ears.”

So it was decided you’d be Mariyam,
the “sister” I liked so much.
Who knew she was so wonderful,
and that I’d have such a crush.

But, alas, our paths kept crossing!
It seemed like more than coincidence.
Even now I feel myself smile,
as I recall each incident.

There was the time outside the lab,
when I almost ran into you!
It was there I always saw you,
wondering if you saw me too.

One time I printed something,
and the paper had my user ID.
In big black letters “okompier”,
all you’d need to email me.

An idea flew to mind,
there was a trash can within your reach.
“I’ll just place it right on top,” I thought,
“make it innocent and discreet.”

But I guess you never saw it,
and my hopes began to fade.
How can this ever work?
I don’t even know his name.

Then there was that time I went,
to Blue Nile for something to eat.
But since all the tables were full,
I went for desi food across the street.

I was about to start my lunch,
but my friend’s eyes grew wide.
“Liv!” she gasped breathlessly,
“you won’t believe who just came inside!”

There you were at the buffet,
so I tried to take a peek.
But you caught me looking at you!
I felt my stomach growing weak.

I stared blankly ahead,
too nervous to take a bite.
“Liv, he’s sitting right behind you!”
My head was feeling light.

These are some of many stories,
that prove the Qadr of our Lord.
But let’s skip to the climax,
before our readers get too bored.

I was doing MSA stuff,
with some sisters I hadn’t told.
They were talking about Sarosh,
whose identity I didn’t know.

“I don’t know him.”
“Sure you do!” one said.
“I’m sure you’ve seem him around.
He’s tall, rolls up his pants,
his beard nearly hangs to the ground!”

Sarosh! That was his name!
I found the key to unlock the gate!
All my duas had now been answered!
Oh Allah, what a beautiful fate!

I searched you on the directory,
your email was in my hands.
Now was the moment of courage,
but even fear couldn’t foil my plans.

I began to type the email,
“Asalaamu alaikum brother,” was the start.
“You may have seen me around,” I continued,
barely controlling my racing heart.

“I’m doing this Khadija style,” I wrote,
trying to make a show of confidence.
Don’t muslim guys tend to balk,
at female-initiated correspondence?

But you confessed you were interested too,
and that marriage was on your mind.
So from there our adventure began,
and a nikkah would be our bind.

We made dua for each other,
and Allah brought us together.
Mariyam, you’ve got my heart,
inshAllah, now and forever.

Expected to Expect

I'm a girl and I'm expected
I'm expected to do the things this world expects
But I don't want to
I expect of myself

It's flattering every now and then
But when it comes to expecting of me what you don't expect for yourself
I have to say stop!
Focus on you
I no longer expect
I only respect those who expect for themselves
Leave the expectations to individuals
And just question those expectations to see what they are
When the situation allows
Don't tell me what you expect of me
Ask me who I am and what I expect of me
What I expect of my life and of my future
Not what I expect of you
Don't tell me who I am in this list of your expectations

I ask myself... Who am I?
What right do I have to expect of you what I don't expect of myself?
So don't come in my territory and tell me what you expect of me
Tell me what you expect of yourself and I will know, that is what you expect of life
Don't live your life contrary to your orders
Live it word for word and then we can talk

Allah Ke Bande

I'm not linking to the video because unfortunately strings instruments are used. The lyrics themselves are awesome though Masha'Allah. I'd rant on about how I hate how they screw up such awesome verses with their videos and instruments, but I wont... again. My sister found this and I thought it was quite deep so I found the lyrics... translation following on the bottom

Toota toota ek parinda aise toota
Ke phir jud naa paaya
Loota loota kisne usko aise loota
Ke phir ud naa paaya
toota toota ek parinda aise toota
Ke phir jud naa paaya
Loota loota kisne usko aise loota
Ke phir ud naa paaya
Girta hua woh aasman se
Aakar gira zameen par
Khwabon mein phir bhi badal hi the
Woh kehta raha magar
Ke Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega

Kho ke aapne par hi to usne tha ud naa sikha
Kho ke aapne par hi to
Kho ke aapne par hi to usne tha ud naa sikha
Gham ko aapne saath mein lele dard bhi tere kaam aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega

Tukray tukray ho gaya tha har sapna jab woh toota
Tukray tukray ho gaya tha aa aaa aa
Tukray tukray ho gaya tha har sapna jab woh toota
Bhikre tukdon mein Allah ki marzi ka manzar paayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Toota toota ek parinda aise toota
Ke phir jud naa paaya
Loota loota kisne usko aise loota
Ke phir ud naa paaya
Girta hua woh aasmaan se
Aakar gira zameen par
Khwabon mein phir bhi badal hi the
Woh kehta raha magar
Ke Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega
Allah ke bande hasde Allah ke bande
Allah ke bande hasde jo bhi ho kal phir aayega

Rough Translation without repetition of verses

A bird was so badly broken
That he could not be healed
Somebody stole (the wings) from the bird
Till he was unable to fly
he fell from the sky
Onto the earth
Yet in his dreams there were still only clouds
And he kept saying
that the people of Allah will always stay happy (laughing)
The people of Allah will always be laughing... whatever happens, there will always be another day
Only after losing his wings did he learn to fly
Take your sorrow with you, for the pain will be of use to you
He broke into pieces when every dream of his broke
It is only in the scattered pieces of your dreams that you will find the meaning of Allah's Will.

What Better Way...

There's something else I'm supposed to be doing, but I'm here to do something for days and years down the line. I was just reading over someone's blog and I remembered an old post I had seen before so I went to find it... it was a poetry piece. I was blown away, because that poem... increased my love for them for the sake of Allah (swt). Although the poem was forced with a deadline, it told me something because of a reoccurring theme. I started thinking about my own poetry and about that person and their words and what better way to express it....

Hundred and more, that's how many pages
Letter for letter until my thumb was sore
Four years and nothing sticks
I'm my own teacher sometimes
I pick up that pile and remember who I was
Those were my thoughts, and I'm amazed
What went through my mind?
I thought like that?
I remind myself, because those things meant something to me
Those things someone else taught me, I wanted to jot down
But I only forgot
Now I have to teach myself, through my words
I cleared doubts I had from someone else's words
It taught me who they were
Can anyone learn who I am from this?
From the ink and The Book and the grave that shook
The voice for the youth, the thief in the night
The girl and the boy, the past and the present
The mother and the father, the sister and the brother
The silence and the noise, the spring and the fall
The night and the rain
My submission to the call
My struggle within, the fight with the sin
The hand for a friend and the step to save the world
Is it my voice or are they just words?
Will they remind me of my purpose now?
I pray they do, a waste to see... it all lead me to hell