Motivation

With the insanity of the past.... almost YEAR... the one thing that had me going, the one thing I had based so many goals around and based much of a my haste around... had almost left me. That want. That yearning. That rush. That motivation. All gone. SubhanAllah.

When you need a reminder the most, it makes its way to you. Alhumdulillah

I'm Alive

The storm has passed.
The aftermath is settling in.
Almost there.
Just a little more.
...and sweet bliss.

I'm waiting. Patiently, waiting.
...and then all your pain will seem like 18th century history.


What a storm. Blowing me straight into the arms of fate, faith and love. What a storm.

Fall '09

What a Night

Karachi, Pakistan. 3 am. Stretched out on the charpai in the open air of the terrace. A slight summer breeze. Lizards climbing over walls into inhabited territory. A slight inhale and extensive exahale. Verses of Surah Tawbah echoing between my ear walls transmitted through my metallic blue ipod. Staring into the clear sky. Aboslute silence. Essence of my sanity. ♥

A Few Lines

He was yanking at my heart, trying to get me to speak. I couldn't. Threats, pleas... only to help me find relief, but I couldn't. Dressed up a few lines from this and few from that, tried to be tactful, but still... no sleep means tons of regret. What goes around, comes around. If what went around, punches me in the face... it may mean death.

Ya Allah.

I Give Up

I have been scribbling, jotting some exaggerated lines. I'm not sure if they've even been from the heart or just a creative unimpressive rhyme. The only catch was that I had to perfect it, conveyed in the mother tongue. See, I've slipped into a timely amnesia, where this rhyming gig seems too alien for me to even attempt. I can't even express to transgress against the rivers flowing in the depths of night while the streets wipe away the good and welcome the devil. It's in that time, with the lights on dim and the sweet sound drowning in a gentle sob, a sincere plea of the heart. It's the first time I say this, but I say it with confidence. It's the first time I say this, but I say it in a timely manner. It's the first time I say this because I need to say it. I give up.

Editeded

I just need my moment destined by God to figure it out
To wipe the slate clean from these dissembled deeds
Sacrifice this diabolical self
To find heaven in mind and freedom in heart
Imprisoned, tortured, abused and cursed
Drought of the clouds from the anger of me
The earth grows brown and the men grow green

Fallible ties in kin and friend
Self authored routes to love and lust
With far too many questions of why and how
Far too much weight thrust down on one soul
Curving a spine, breaking a back, staging an attack
Destructible in instances of master and student
I wanted to say no, but I just couldn't

It is a battle of voice and mind
A war call, a silent roar in thought
Downward strike, upward punch
A roundhouse kick and a jab, jab block

The wounds are only a timely proof
The scars are the trophies paraded to the people
Of a victory, a memory or a defeat of lesson and love
But the words are the lies
An incomlpete story or an overly exaggerated version
And emotions are clouded with biases
But thoughts, thoughts can be true
Thoughts can be thought out and rethought
The mind's work is to find, figure and forget

I just need my moment destined by God to figure it out
To wipe the slate clean from these dissembled deeds
Sacrifice this diabolical self
To find heaven in mind and freedom in heart
Imprisoned, tortured, abused and cursed
Drought of the clouds from the anger of me
The earth grows brown and the men grow green